The Pastoral Artist
  • Home
  • Book
  • Blog
  • Contact

BLOG

Love is Action

11/29/2013

 
PictureMom and me - 2004. It was rough.
There is a saying that goes, “Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary, use words.”  It's been attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, but turns out he never said that. The closest thing he said was something about how Franciscans should follow their preaching.

            The book of James teaches this same principle in the first chapter. Starting in verse 22, James says “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do."

            Do what it says. Why is this important?  Because you never know who is watching your life. I'm always surprised to find out that someone has been observing my actions. I see myself as an ordinary woman. I'm not very exciting. So when someone tells me they've seen God in action in my life, I'm always left a bit awestruck at the idea.

            When I was taking care of my mother, I went over every day. Day in, day out. I felt invisible to the rest of the world.

            One day when I went over, I found her with small, wadded up paper towels cleaning the door sill by her entryway. As soon as she saw me, she started screaming that this place I moved her to was filthy, and that it wasn't cleaned before she moved in.

            That simply wasn’t true. Moreover, her house had been a cesspool when I moved her – it was covered in filth of cats with no cat litter available, and the smell had been overwhelming. But because her outburst came at me seemingly out of nowhere, against all reason I replied, “This is dirt you tracked in from gardening.” That was a big mistake. It sent her on a tirade of how she's only been there a few days, she never went out and it couldn't be her. Because I'm a slow learner, I replied, “A few days? You've been here two months!” That really set her off, and she screamed that I was lying and the cycle was in full swing.

            Later, I met Mike for lunch and it was clear that I was not doing well and he was frightened for me. I told him about mom's continual self-pity and how she was always complaining that her old life was so much better and now it's all gone. My life was gone as well and I was grieving that. I shared that with Mike and remarked that I'm not any different from my mother.

            He was incredulous. “Not any different? Not any different??? That's totally unrealistic! Donna, it's awful of me, I know, but if I'd gotten that letter, I would not have answered it. You've shown me a new level of the Christian walk I've never seen. That woman has never been kind to you. She's always been unpleasant and, God forgive me, I would have thrown that letter away. But you walked in forgiveness. You're taking care of everything on your own, and you know if the situation had been reversed you would have been abandoned.”

            I looked at him in wonder. God bless that man. He gave me a new perspective and he spoke truth. It helped me keep going. It also showed me that someone was watching my life and was being affected by it. Over the years of caring for her, more than one person remarked on watching me when I was totally oblivious of the fact.

            So keep in mind the quote misattributed to St. Francis. Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary, use words. Your life is your message.

 

            Note: the letter my husband was referring to was Mom’s, when she contacted me to ask forgiveness and to ask for help. See the post titled, “Beginnings.”


Gayle DeGram
11/29/2013 03:21:45 am

Beautifully written. That was a difficult time in your life where you bared your soul to me and walked in and exuded grace to your mother. The secular person would of walked away or contributed little time to caretaking for a difficult parent. You sought out God to help you day by day to give you the grace and strength to carry on . Your story was in actions and as St Francis did not say without words.


Comments are closed.

    Archives

    July 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    Donna Kemper

    Donna Kemper put aside her art career to care for a mother she hadn't seen in over a decade.  For seven years she followed her mother's journey into dementia, caring for her and putting forgiveness into action.

    Categories

    All
    Abandonment
    Adult Care Facilities
    Advocacy
    Alzheimers
    Alzheimers Research
    Art
    August
    Automobiles
    Ballet
    Beauty
    Birds
    Birthdays
    Book
    Books
    Burnout
    Camping
    Cancer
    Care Giving
    Cat
    Colonoscopy
    Community
    Compassion Fatigue
    Computer Issues
    Creativity
    Daughters
    Death
    Dementia
    Difficult Parent
    Discovery
    Documentary
    Dreaming
    Elder Care
    Experimentation
    Faith
    Family
    Father
    Father In Law
    Father-in-law
    Fatherless Daughters
    Fear
    Forgiveness
    Friendship
    Frustration
    Gardening
    Genealogy
    God
    Gold Leafing
    Good Man
    Gourd Art
    Grandmothers
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Growth
    Health
    Hero
    Hope
    Human Trafficking
    Humor
    Husband
    Justice
    Kayaking
    Kindness
    Life Adjustments
    Listening
    Loneliness
    Loss
    Lost And Found
    Love
    Love In Action
    Mother In Law
    Mother-in-law
    Mothers
    Moving Forward
    Music
    Neglect
    Offering Help
    Paintings
    Patience
    Poetry
    Prayer
    Process
    Psalms
    Questioning
    Recovery
    Relevancy
    Restoration
    Rocks
    Rumi
    Sacrifice
    Sadness
    Shakespeare
    Slavery
    Snow
    Social Media
    Sonnet
    Spiritual Formation
    Storytelling
    Studio
    Suffering
    Transformation
    Transition
    Vineyards
    Water
    Worship
    Writing

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

STAY CONNECTED!


© The Pastoral Artist 2022 | Designed by Tech with Tasha

  • Home
  • Book
  • Blog
  • Contact