Baby Steps

Sitting in my studio writing about grief, it occurs to me that I am being enfolded by a chair that used to be in a dear friend’s home.  Her daughter gave it to me for my studio when she died.  The thought makes me break down in tears again.  God, I miss Jan so much.  All the other griefs come at me like an unexpected and unwelcome guest - crashing into my house and demanding attention.

While I am weary of tears, I’m not done crying.  Some days I turn to food for comfort.  Some days I have no appetite but want to sleep all day.  Experiencing grief and working through it is hard but it needs to be done.  It is not pleasant work and there is a danger of getting stuck at some point. With that in mind, I have signed up for an online calligraphy course with a world-renown artist from Europe.  The beauty of the internet.

With this class, I have something to focus on.  While I do not feel like being creative, nor do I want to be in crowds of people, this is an effort of being proactive.  Believing that grief will diminish and that life will continue.  Creativity will at some point take place once again.

Baby steps.


Addendum - if you are grieving and not sure how to process here are some things to consider.

• Journal.  Write down everything you feel no matter how silly it might seem.  Just write until you can’t think of anything to write and do it again the next day.
• Have coffee with a good friend who will listen as you tell them your grief.  It is surprising how much just talking to someone helps.
• Pray.  Prayer is a lifeline for me.  If no one else is there to listen, God is always there.
• Do something for self care even if you don't feel like it.  Exercise, take a class, just do something.
  
• ​Counseling.  If you are stuck and need extra help there is no shame in getting professional help.
  
• If you have other things that have helped you please add them in the comment section.

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