Sitting in my studio writing about grief, it occurs to me that I am being enfolded by a chair that used to be in a dear friend’s home. Her daughter gave it to me for my studio when she died. The thought makes me break down in tears again. God, I miss Jan so much. All the other griefs come at me like an unexpected and unwelcome guest - crashing into my house and demanding attention.
While I am weary of tears, I’m not done crying. Some days I turn to food for comfort. Some days I have no appetite but want to sleep all day. Experiencing grief and working through it is hard but it needs to be done. It is not pleasant work and there is a danger of getting stuck at some point. With that in mind, I have signed up for an online calligraphy course with a world-renown artist from Europe. The beauty of the internet.
With this class, I have something to focus on. While I do not feel like being creative, nor do I want to be in crowds of people, this is an effort of being proactive. Believing that grief will diminish and that life will continue. Creativity will at some point take place once again.
Addendum - if you are grieving and not sure how to process here are some things to consider.
Donna Kemper put aside her art career to care for a mother she hadn't seen in over a decade. For seven years she followed her mother's journey into dementia, caring for her and putting forgiveness into action.